How come I only feel like blogging when I’m bummed out and it’s late at night and I can’t sleep?
Today was a mix of emotion, holy crap what am I doing and sincere gratitude.
I visited with two chaplains at the Fort Carson Army post and was overwhelmed with all they have going on there. I got the feeling that starting tomorrow wouldn’t be soon enough – which is a great feeling…to be needed…and yet scary because people will soon be relying on me. Am I even old enough for this? I sure don’t feel equipped (though I know the Lord’s got that part covered). I came to the Springs hoping for some concrete direction and have ended up with something even better. I wanted to know exactly what I would be doing and how, but instead I got, “we need you.” It’s unsettling to my flesh because I desire control, but I already see how much this new adventure is going to grow my faith and I’m really and truly excited to be starting with just enough light to illuminate my feet.
I was thinking today about the tiny oil lamps used by the Israelites and of David’s words in Psalm 119, “Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” I have found so much encouragement knowing that God’s Word not only gives me daily direction and reminds me of the firm foundation upon which I stand, but in His infinite grace, He lights the path in which I am to walk. I can’t believe God loves us so much, He has told us the ending to our story! Death won’t be the end of my life, but the trading in of my broken body for a perfect one for eternity! This knowledge frees me to live with the kind of abandon that doesn’t allow fear to paralyze and I’m compelled to share this hope with an urgency. How cool is it that I get to wake up every morning and put on a leg?! I have a physical reminder, every single day, that I must, must, must rely on the Lord. I have to rely on my leg to take steps and I have to rely on my Lord to walk His road.
I’m in the middle of reading “Decision Making and the Will of God” by Gary Friesen. It has been an excellent book and quickly becoming a favorite. So helpful in this time of transition and so incredible to have amazing friends and faithful people to seek out wise counsel from. So, bum out averted and decision to be content with the process, initiated.
It’s 2:20 and that means peace out time.
Comment:
Jenn: sweet friend, i’m so excited to see how The Lord will continue to equip you and provide for you so perfectly! what an incredible time in your life! and how cool that you found yourself in colorado after all. i know that these folks are going to fall in love with you for all the same reasons that the rest of us have!!! can’t wait to see the posts yet to come. keep them coming. p.s. did you hear our news?! i can’t remember if i e-mailed you? i did have a brain at one point in life, but it’s not recognizable these days! i thought my full name would show up in the post, but it doesn’t look like it did. just in case… it’s jenn mosburg. =)
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