Whole Again

Know the feeling of finding something you thought was gone for good? I felt it today. Maybe it was yesterday and I just realized it fully in worship this morning. I found my voice. I've loved music since infancy. Around the age of 7, I sang my first praise to Jesus on a tiny little stage in my home church with my sweet cousin Kayla. I took piano lessons for 8 years (and regret quitting like every other would-be pianist out there) and voice for 9 years and I adored it. Music became a part of me. It defined part of me and even though I was trained, I still felt the thrill and gratitude every time I got the opportunity to share God's love through music. All the joy I felt as a child of God, I channeled through singing.

Then I lost it.

I'm not sure when, though all signs point to the obvious, but I certainly know why. When my heart was broken, my voice was crushed. My voice echoed my heart and along the way, I seriously misplaced my hope for the future. Slowly but surely, the Lord has been restoring the broken bits and for the first time in years this morning, I could sing again. I stood perfectly still with my hands raised in awe of the melody coming out of my throat. Only this time it was much, much different. I finally know where my One True Hope lives and I'm not afraid of losing my voice ever again. I've found my Source and the only reason I'll sing. I feel a little more whole today. I can't wait to be faithful with this gift again. Not so I'll hear people say what a nice voice I have, but to praise my Father with a wholly complete heart and touch people's lives at the core with the sweet lyrics of His grace.